We're approaching a new year, and indeed a new decade. Almost every year the same things happens with me. I approach the start of a new year with a degree of optimism in regards to new year aims and goals (I don't do 'resolutions' as these always sound like 'oughts' rather than exciting things), and almost a feeling that somehow the idea of this being a new year means that I can magically overcome any procrastination, worries or whatever has gone wrong with the previous year, and have a completely fresh start. I'm fairly sure I've felt something like this every new year for the past sixteen years now, and it's incredible how long it takes to learn!
Examples of new year goals and ambitions in previous years have been, building a better social life, wanting to read more books to gain knowledge about certain things (I don't do reading for reading sake), online marketing, and simply avoiding being in awkward or embarrassing social situations. I do think about aims and goals at other times of the year too, but particularly as we approach a new year. I will often go for a wander to my local park to stretch my legs and think about it all, and draw up lists and brainstorms.
One unfortunate thing I have discovered, is that I seem to get far more enjoyment about actually thinking and brainstorming ideas, than putting the effort into carrying them out. For instance, I mentioned in an earlier post how I wished to blog more regularly, and expand upon this into other online media - you can see how little progress has been made. It's easy to get excited about the idea, but not so easy to take the first steps, when you have to get down to the nitty-gritty and think what to say. Again, it's incredible that it's taken me over a decade to realise this.
That said, there are some things I do eventually get round to actually doing. One of them is my music on soundcloud, all completed in 2019. Probably my proudest accomplishment of the year.
Now this year has been a little different. I haven't felt so optimistic about 2020 as I have at the start of previous years. This is partly I believe due to the effect of age, and a weariness of years of trying and realising my weaknesses. There are also a few things that I don't want to do next year, but feel I ought to do and can't really rest if I do nothing. And there are quite a few things I would like to develop, such as music, my blog, talks on aspergers, relationships, etc, however, it's very hard to focus on all of them due to time. Usually after a day at work, once you have had dinner, I feel more like relaxing to some interesting stuff on youtube or the television, rather than taking any steps towards goals. Coming to realisation of this has made me struggle to think constructively about aims, ambitions and goals for 2020.
With that said, I think there are two things that have come to mind this year.
The first is the recognition that I can spend far too long thinking and never getting round to much doing. So one of my 'resolutions' (for want of a better word) would be rather than constantly think of my aims and goals and get overawed with them, simply take small steps towards one them each day where possible, whichever one I feel most inclined towards at the time. Rather than thinking that I really want to build a big blog this year...when I think of it, take one step and write a post.
The second is something I will call positioning yourself. While there are several different avenues I would like to develop, I know that there will be days when I will feel in the mood for one and not another. I need to realise that this will be the case, and rather than get overwhelmed by the number of things I could be doing, I hope to position myself to be able to do this thing well.
For instance, two of the issues with me developing a youtube channel is a) lack of a good spot in my flat to film and b) upload time from my phone. Should I get look for a new phone (I'll need one soon anyway) with faster upload speed, or find a spot at my parents house to film? Another positioning issue is regarding online dating (yes I would really like to meet someone). Currently I feel I lack many good recent photos, as my social life in the past year or so has only given rise to the occasional selfie (I don't like to do too many). Is it time to get a few professional ones done? These are just some of my thoughts now, but they're the types of steps that position you to make certain aims or goals easier to accomplish.
I appreciate I'm being a bit vague here, I'm not at a stage where I have really established a definitive goal, as I've realised that often when you get what you think you want, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Hence why I've been feeling rather weary of life. But I think I'm starting to take a healthier and more realistic approach to new year goal setting.
No comments:
Post a Comment