We're approaching a new year, and indeed a new decade. Almost every year the same things happens with me. I approach the start of a new year with a degree of optimism in regards to new year aims and goals (I don't do 'resolutions' as these always sound like 'oughts' rather than exciting things), and almost a feeling that somehow the idea of this being a new year means that I can magically overcome any procrastination, worries or whatever has gone wrong with the previous year, and have a completely fresh start. I'm fairly sure I've felt something like this every new year for the past sixteen years now, and it's incredible how long it takes to learn!
Examples of new year goals and ambitions in previous years have been, building a better social life, wanting to read more books to gain knowledge about certain things (I don't do reading for reading sake), online marketing, and simply avoiding being in awkward or embarrassing social situations. I do think about aims and goals at other times of the year too, but particularly as we approach a new year. I will often go for a wander to my local park to stretch my legs and think about it all, and draw up lists and brainstorms.
One unfortunate thing I have discovered, is that I seem to get far more enjoyment about actually thinking and brainstorming ideas, than putting the effort into carrying them out. For instance, I mentioned in an earlier post how I wished to blog more regularly, and expand upon this into other online media - you can see how little progress has been made. It's easy to get excited about the idea, but not so easy to take the first steps, when you have to get down to the nitty-gritty and think what to say. Again, it's incredible that it's taken me over a decade to realise this.
That said, there are some things I do eventually get round to actually doing. One of them is my music on soundcloud, all completed in 2019. Probably my proudest accomplishment of the year.
Now this year has been a little different. I haven't felt so optimistic about 2020 as I have at the start of previous years. This is partly I believe due to the effect of age, and a weariness of years of trying and realising my weaknesses. There are also a few things that I don't want to do next year, but feel I ought to do and can't really rest if I do nothing. And there are quite a few things I would like to develop, such as music, my blog, talks on aspergers, relationships, etc, however, it's very hard to focus on all of them due to time. Usually after a day at work, once you have had dinner, I feel more like relaxing to some interesting stuff on youtube or the television, rather than taking any steps towards goals. Coming to realisation of this has made me struggle to think constructively about aims, ambitions and goals for 2020.
With that said, I think there are two things that have come to mind this year.
The first is the recognition that I can spend far too long thinking and never getting round to much doing. So one of my 'resolutions' (for want of a better word) would be rather than constantly think of my aims and goals and get overawed with them, simply take small steps towards one them each day where possible, whichever one I feel most inclined towards at the time. Rather than thinking that I really want to build a big blog this year...when I think of it, take one step and write a post.
The second is something I will call positioning yourself. While there are several different avenues I would like to develop, I know that there will be days when I will feel in the mood for one and not another. I need to realise that this will be the case, and rather than get overwhelmed by the number of things I could be doing, I hope to position myself to be able to do this thing well.
For instance, two of the issues with me developing a youtube channel is a) lack of a good spot in my flat to film and b) upload time from my phone. Should I get look for a new phone (I'll need one soon anyway) with faster upload speed, or find a spot at my parents house to film? Another positioning issue is regarding online dating (yes I would really like to meet someone). Currently I feel I lack many good recent photos, as my social life in the past year or so has only given rise to the occasional selfie (I don't like to do too many). Is it time to get a few professional ones done? These are just some of my thoughts now, but they're the types of steps that position you to make certain aims or goals easier to accomplish.
I appreciate I'm being a bit vague here, I'm not at a stage where I have really established a definitive goal, as I've realised that often when you get what you think you want, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Hence why I've been feeling rather weary of life. But I think I'm starting to take a healthier and more realistic approach to new year goal setting.
Saturday, December 28, 2019
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Greta Thunberg - An Autistic Role Model?
Since Greta Thunberg, the sixteen year old environmental campaigner from Sweden, revealed she has Asperger Syndrome, much of the autism support community has been hailing her as a great role model or hero. Many see her as a shining example of how someone on the autistic spectrum can speak out and try to make a difference in the world.
This may sound controversial to some - and I may even be labeled as a "hater"...but I am rather dismayed by all the praise Thunberg is receiving in the autism world.
For the record, I don't wish this blog to become political, even though I have some strong views on a number of matters. I also don't wish to be critical of Thunberg here - if I had been given the same opportunities as her as a sixteen year old, I suspect I would have taken them up. But therein lies the problem. Suppose as a teenager I decided one day that I wasn't going to do any homework - that homework as a violation of my human rights, so I went on a 'strike' from school, got the train to the Houses of Parliament and protested with a 'Stop Homework' placard. Do you think the government would take any notice of me? Do you think the media would be interested? Do you think world leaders from other countries would invite me to a meeting? What I think is far more likely is that my parents would get a call from the headteacher, and I would be sat in their office for detention the next day!
In the same way, I simply cannot believe that a random teenage girl, Asperger's or not, who decided to go on a school 'strike' and protest outside a parliamentary building, and get their friends to join them, could suddenly win over masses of grassroots support to the point that within a few months they are invited to meet with world leaders, speak at UN conferences and become an international celebrity!
To me, there has got to be some more powerful forces behind what she is doing, promoting her initiative, funding her trips - and without going into details there is plenty of evidence for this. Asperger or not, mental health issues of not, she is being used by the political establishment to further an agenda.
As I said earlier, this is not a criticism of Thunberg, but whatever one thinks about climate change, a sixteen year old who has not yet completed a high school education is not qualified to be an 'expert' on scientific mattes on the world stage. While I may be wrong, I think its highly unlikely that her campaign is based upon independent study on the earth science, thoroughly researching all possible scenarios and coming to the conclusion that we're in a 'climate emergency' - she's probably just repeating what she has been taught and school and heard in the media.
So for all these reasons, there is no justifiable reason to put Thunberg on a pedestal as one of the autistic greats. More likely, she's someone in need of real help.
Who Are The Real Autistic Role Models?
Of course, if a teenager with Asperger's did embark on some ground-breaking scientific research, and discovered solutions to genuine problems, then they would undoubtedly be a real hero of the autism world. I know that many of the great scientists and inventors of the past are now speculated to have had Asperger's, and Thunberg is correct in saying that those of us on the spectrum can have "a unique way of looking at the world."
One particular strength can be critical thinking - having a eye for detail that enables one to see the problems with an issue, that will just go unnoticed by neurotypicals. In fact, without wanting to put myself on a pedestal, I could argue that being Asperger's has enabled me to see behind all the hype around Greta Thunberg and think critically around this issue, rather than just going along with the crowd.
May I suggest that more widely, the real autistic role models are the ordinary people on the spectrum who do not have any special skills, who struggle yet make the most of their day-to-day lives, finding or doing work, making social connections, often being misunderstood or rejected. I was fortunate to get a diagnosis at age 13. There are many people older than myself who have never been diagnosed, and as a result have never had the help they've needed. It is these types of the autism support community needs to give a voice to, what they say will resonate far more with the rest of us, than the voice of autistic celebrities.
This may sound controversial to some - and I may even be labeled as a "hater"...but I am rather dismayed by all the praise Thunberg is receiving in the autism world.
For the record, I don't wish this blog to become political, even though I have some strong views on a number of matters. I also don't wish to be critical of Thunberg here - if I had been given the same opportunities as her as a sixteen year old, I suspect I would have taken them up. But therein lies the problem. Suppose as a teenager I decided one day that I wasn't going to do any homework - that homework as a violation of my human rights, so I went on a 'strike' from school, got the train to the Houses of Parliament and protested with a 'Stop Homework' placard. Do you think the government would take any notice of me? Do you think the media would be interested? Do you think world leaders from other countries would invite me to a meeting? What I think is far more likely is that my parents would get a call from the headteacher, and I would be sat in their office for detention the next day!
In the same way, I simply cannot believe that a random teenage girl, Asperger's or not, who decided to go on a school 'strike' and protest outside a parliamentary building, and get their friends to join them, could suddenly win over masses of grassroots support to the point that within a few months they are invited to meet with world leaders, speak at UN conferences and become an international celebrity!
To me, there has got to be some more powerful forces behind what she is doing, promoting her initiative, funding her trips - and without going into details there is plenty of evidence for this. Asperger or not, mental health issues of not, she is being used by the political establishment to further an agenda.
As I said earlier, this is not a criticism of Thunberg, but whatever one thinks about climate change, a sixteen year old who has not yet completed a high school education is not qualified to be an 'expert' on scientific mattes on the world stage. While I may be wrong, I think its highly unlikely that her campaign is based upon independent study on the earth science, thoroughly researching all possible scenarios and coming to the conclusion that we're in a 'climate emergency' - she's probably just repeating what she has been taught and school and heard in the media.
So for all these reasons, there is no justifiable reason to put Thunberg on a pedestal as one of the autistic greats. More likely, she's someone in need of real help.
Who Are The Real Autistic Role Models?
Of course, if a teenager with Asperger's did embark on some ground-breaking scientific research, and discovered solutions to genuine problems, then they would undoubtedly be a real hero of the autism world. I know that many of the great scientists and inventors of the past are now speculated to have had Asperger's, and Thunberg is correct in saying that those of us on the spectrum can have "a unique way of looking at the world."
One particular strength can be critical thinking - having a eye for detail that enables one to see the problems with an issue, that will just go unnoticed by neurotypicals. In fact, without wanting to put myself on a pedestal, I could argue that being Asperger's has enabled me to see behind all the hype around Greta Thunberg and think critically around this issue, rather than just going along with the crowd.
May I suggest that more widely, the real autistic role models are the ordinary people on the spectrum who do not have any special skills, who struggle yet make the most of their day-to-day lives, finding or doing work, making social connections, often being misunderstood or rejected. I was fortunate to get a diagnosis at age 13. There are many people older than myself who have never been diagnosed, and as a result have never had the help they've needed. It is these types of the autism support community needs to give a voice to, what they say will resonate far more with the rest of us, than the voice of autistic celebrities.
Monday, September 23, 2019
Planning Action vs Taking Action
Over the course of my adult life, two of my greatest past times has been talking to myself and brainstorming. There is a large park just round the corner from my flat, where I may regularly go for a wander around for around half an hour, mostly during spring and summer evenings. I have always found it much easier to think clearly and creatively when I have time to myself and space to wander around. In my flat I have far too much of the former, however space to move about is limited except for walking round in small circles.
So there have been many times when I have been unhappy with something in my life, or wanted to accomplish something, whereby I have spent a fair few hours of both wandering around the park and putting pen to paper inside the flat and drawing up a brainstorm.
In the first few years living alone, much of this was geared towards making friends and building a social life. Brainstorming applied both to short-term and long-term objectives. For instance, if I was likely to be somewhere where a girl I fancied was present, I would try and brainstorm conversation topics, and try and picture the various scenarios that would give me a window of opportunity to speak to her.
Around 2010, when I started going to meet-up style events, I would look at what other sorts of people were going and try and brainstorm conversation topics. Without going to any detail here, I would even try and brainstorm potentially fun and flirtatious (in my eyes) ways I could interact with a woman.
Then around 2015, in my efforts to succeed in online marketing, I would brainstorm online marketing ideas and strategies, aims and goals. I remember one or two occasions in August 2015 really scrambling around trying to make sense of things and them in logical order while wandering round the park on a few quiet cool mornings (I was unemployed briefly at that time).
I will admit now that much of my wandering around brainstorming work was not the most effective goal-setting techniques, and much of it especially in the early days, was me clutching at straws.
However, after many years of all this thinking, I came to a realisation - that when I decide I want to go for a wander down the park, it's not so much to create a serious action plan as it is simply for the need to talk to myself in a more open space, and stretch my legs. I certainly wouldn't say my brainstorming efforts have been futile, however, I have more recently come to realise that I can easily thrive on the excitement of an idea, but really struggle with getting down to the nitty-gritty and putting those early steps into action.
Planning Actions ideas is easy, taking the real action is hard work, especially getting started. I think it is good that I have recognised this.
In more recent times, it has typically the weekends, when I have a fair bit of spare time, and sometime feel my life is in a rut, that I feel inspired to take some sort of action. My mind can be all over the place while I'm working but often after work I get tired and never get round to much.
I guess one of the most helpful things is actually recognising the above - that I often enjoy thinking about the idea more than the actual accomplishment. Knowing that this is how your brain works, actually helps you to say to yourself "right time to take the first steps...no point wandering round the park brainstorming if you never get on with it."
So there have been many times when I have been unhappy with something in my life, or wanted to accomplish something, whereby I have spent a fair few hours of both wandering around the park and putting pen to paper inside the flat and drawing up a brainstorm.
In the first few years living alone, much of this was geared towards making friends and building a social life. Brainstorming applied both to short-term and long-term objectives. For instance, if I was likely to be somewhere where a girl I fancied was present, I would try and brainstorm conversation topics, and try and picture the various scenarios that would give me a window of opportunity to speak to her.
Around 2010, when I started going to meet-up style events, I would look at what other sorts of people were going and try and brainstorm conversation topics. Without going to any detail here, I would even try and brainstorm potentially fun and flirtatious (in my eyes) ways I could interact with a woman.
Then around 2015, in my efforts to succeed in online marketing, I would brainstorm online marketing ideas and strategies, aims and goals. I remember one or two occasions in August 2015 really scrambling around trying to make sense of things and them in logical order while wandering round the park on a few quiet cool mornings (I was unemployed briefly at that time).
I will admit now that much of my wandering around brainstorming work was not the most effective goal-setting techniques, and much of it especially in the early days, was me clutching at straws.
However, after many years of all this thinking, I came to a realisation - that when I decide I want to go for a wander down the park, it's not so much to create a serious action plan as it is simply for the need to talk to myself in a more open space, and stretch my legs. I certainly wouldn't say my brainstorming efforts have been futile, however, I have more recently come to realise that I can easily thrive on the excitement of an idea, but really struggle with getting down to the nitty-gritty and putting those early steps into action.
Planning Actions ideas is easy, taking the real action is hard work, especially getting started. I think it is good that I have recognised this.
In more recent times, it has typically the weekends, when I have a fair bit of spare time, and sometime feel my life is in a rut, that I feel inspired to take some sort of action. My mind can be all over the place while I'm working but often after work I get tired and never get round to much.
I guess one of the most helpful things is actually recognising the above - that I often enjoy thinking about the idea more than the actual accomplishment. Knowing that this is how your brain works, actually helps you to say to yourself "right time to take the first steps...no point wandering round the park brainstorming if you never get on with it."
Monday, September 16, 2019
Do I Have a GSOH?
Back in my teens when I would regularly browse through the dating personal ads in our local free paper, I would regularly notice this 'GSOH' abbreviation and couldn't work out what it meant. Somehow I later realised it stood for 'Good Sense of Humour'.
Humour has often been a problem for me. I vaguely remember being around the ages of 5 or 6, other kids in the playground sharing jokes with each other and with their parents, waiting for the first school bell to ring, and I had no interest or understanding. A few years later I would enjoy various TV game shows, such as Big Break or You Bet, and never quite understood why the presenter had to use the first five minutes to make jokes, rather than simply get down to business right away. As a teenager, I continued to find jokes an irritating nuisance and a waste of time, especially if it was a wind-up aimed at me. My attitude was 'don't joke with me!' No doubt I would appear very standoffish, though not only was I completely ignorant of how this came over, I also couldn't care less at the time.
However, considering that the vast majority of the time I couldn't make any sense of the jokes, and it sounded all Greek to me, going right over my head, can anyone really be surprised by my attitude? If the things that are supposed to be funny don't make sense to you, how else can you possibly view them other than a total pointless waste of time?
With all that said, I have and always have had a sense of humour, and found certain things to be funny. I always liked Mr Bean for instance, my favourite espisode being Room 426, because it shows him acting in a public hotel, and I get to see exactly how the public reacts to his odd behavior and the bizarre events taking place. The bits where he's just on his own aren't so interesting for me.
My sense of humour I feel has always been more situational based - I like the ridiculous, if you want to summarise it. i.e. such as 22 year olds marrying 100 years old, convicted terrorists being 'let off the hook' and allowed to walk fee. Family members will know what I'm referring to here.
Its Not About Whether You Have a GSOH - It's About Expressing it
The great irony in British society, is that although jokes are meant for a laugh, the issue of having a sense of humour is something taken very seriously. Probably over 90% of dating profiles, or answers to questions regarding what you're looking for, include something along the lines of 'good sense of humour' - without any clear definition of what a GSOH actually is.
I remember on one of my past Plenty of Fish dating profiles (for the record I'm not using this dating site at present), I said that I had a 'good sense of humour' - because in my own mind I have and standard neurotypical humour is boring. As usual I wasn't getting many replies to messages, and when I asked about this in the forum, another member suggested that I offered no evidence to show that I had a GSOH, and that I should demonstate some humour in my profile. This made me think, that when people say they like someone with a good sense of humour, either in a friendship or dating context, what I think they are really saying is 'I like someone who can express humour within a social context.'
The problem I feel I have often had, is that my particular type of humour does not organically slip into general conversation - it rather has to be explained and requires a specific platform and a willing listenership to explain it. That's not to say that I never say anything humorous in a social context, or that there are no instances where I find something funny in a social context, far from it. I do have a number of good friends of whom I seem to be able to make them laugh just by being myself (in a good way). I also find that I can engage with humour to a degree when giving a talk far more easily than in conversation, probably because I have time to think and plan what I say in a talk.
Another thing that strikes me, is how so many people, often seemingly less intelligent than myself, are capable of understanding jokes almost instantaneously in a social setting. Jokes are often based upon words with more than one meaning or similar meanings, and understanding them requires you to connect quite a few dots (plus often the assumption regarding certain general knowledge) all in a flash! Once in a while I will just happen to get it, but how so many people are able to consistently get these jokes and respond with a good comeback all within a few seconds is beyond me!
Misunderstood
This may purely be my own perception, but all too often I feel I can be misunderstood for being 'quiet' or 'shy' or as someone who has no sense of humour at all, simple because my brain cannot process the jokes and banter fast enough, and that my true sense of humour doesn't organically slip into everyday conversation, but rather requires a platform to explain it, and possibly also, for me to have previously built up the type friendship with such a person who may be listening for that person to appreciate it. Very often humour is dependent upon the context of the person sharing the joke or funny story.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Humour has often been a problem for me. I vaguely remember being around the ages of 5 or 6, other kids in the playground sharing jokes with each other and with their parents, waiting for the first school bell to ring, and I had no interest or understanding. A few years later I would enjoy various TV game shows, such as Big Break or You Bet, and never quite understood why the presenter had to use the first five minutes to make jokes, rather than simply get down to business right away. As a teenager, I continued to find jokes an irritating nuisance and a waste of time, especially if it was a wind-up aimed at me. My attitude was 'don't joke with me!' No doubt I would appear very standoffish, though not only was I completely ignorant of how this came over, I also couldn't care less at the time.
However, considering that the vast majority of the time I couldn't make any sense of the jokes, and it sounded all Greek to me, going right over my head, can anyone really be surprised by my attitude? If the things that are supposed to be funny don't make sense to you, how else can you possibly view them other than a total pointless waste of time?
With all that said, I have and always have had a sense of humour, and found certain things to be funny. I always liked Mr Bean for instance, my favourite espisode being Room 426, because it shows him acting in a public hotel, and I get to see exactly how the public reacts to his odd behavior and the bizarre events taking place. The bits where he's just on his own aren't so interesting for me.
My sense of humour I feel has always been more situational based - I like the ridiculous, if you want to summarise it. i.e. such as 22 year olds marrying 100 years old, convicted terrorists being 'let off the hook' and allowed to walk fee. Family members will know what I'm referring to here.
Its Not About Whether You Have a GSOH - It's About Expressing it
The great irony in British society, is that although jokes are meant for a laugh, the issue of having a sense of humour is something taken very seriously. Probably over 90% of dating profiles, or answers to questions regarding what you're looking for, include something along the lines of 'good sense of humour' - without any clear definition of what a GSOH actually is.
I remember on one of my past Plenty of Fish dating profiles (for the record I'm not using this dating site at present), I said that I had a 'good sense of humour' - because in my own mind I have and standard neurotypical humour is boring. As usual I wasn't getting many replies to messages, and when I asked about this in the forum, another member suggested that I offered no evidence to show that I had a GSOH, and that I should demonstate some humour in my profile. This made me think, that when people say they like someone with a good sense of humour, either in a friendship or dating context, what I think they are really saying is 'I like someone who can express humour within a social context.'
The problem I feel I have often had, is that my particular type of humour does not organically slip into general conversation - it rather has to be explained and requires a specific platform and a willing listenership to explain it. That's not to say that I never say anything humorous in a social context, or that there are no instances where I find something funny in a social context, far from it. I do have a number of good friends of whom I seem to be able to make them laugh just by being myself (in a good way). I also find that I can engage with humour to a degree when giving a talk far more easily than in conversation, probably because I have time to think and plan what I say in a talk.
Another thing that strikes me, is how so many people, often seemingly less intelligent than myself, are capable of understanding jokes almost instantaneously in a social setting. Jokes are often based upon words with more than one meaning or similar meanings, and understanding them requires you to connect quite a few dots (plus often the assumption regarding certain general knowledge) all in a flash! Once in a while I will just happen to get it, but how so many people are able to consistently get these jokes and respond with a good comeback all within a few seconds is beyond me!
Misunderstood
This may purely be my own perception, but all too often I feel I can be misunderstood for being 'quiet' or 'shy' or as someone who has no sense of humour at all, simple because my brain cannot process the jokes and banter fast enough, and that my true sense of humour doesn't organically slip into everyday conversation, but rather requires a platform to explain it, and possibly also, for me to have previously built up the type friendship with such a person who may be listening for that person to appreciate it. Very often humour is dependent upon the context of the person sharing the joke or funny story.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
Aspergers and Making Money Online - Part 3
This is part of a series of posts of my experiences online. Click here for part 1 and part 2
Around October 2013, a year since I began my attempts to make money online, I got rather frustrated by my lack of progress and thought that there must be easier ways to make money faster.
I spent a whole week off work doing google searches on things like 'best way to make money online' etc, to try and find the best program or system. You find get an awful lot of online 'noise' when you do this - there is a complete lack of objective information but a load of individuals who know a bit about ranking their sites on google, trying to say whatever they're involved with is the best business for making money online, and calling everything else a 'scam'. The only way I felt I could try to determine the truth of the matter is by looking at what the majority say.
In the end, I joined some program for $5 that would supposedly give me a step-by-step system. Unfortunately, once I had joined, I got to about the second step, which I think to do with setting up a custom made website, and the instructions weren't clear. I had questions, but there didn't seem to be any means to contact anyone to get answers, so I couldn't really go any further.
I also discovered a program called Wealthy Affiliate (WA) which is still popular today. It's basically a membership site which teaches you affiliate marketing. I am not here to make any judgement upon WA, except to say that when I signed up for my free trial, I didn't find it that easy to navigate. I asked in the chat room about some of the other programs I had seen recommended on websites, and the only answer I got is these were 'scams'. What I do understand now, which I didn't at the time, is most of these websites I saw in the search engines were created by WA members, who were following their training to create 'review' sites for various make money online systems, and direct visitors to 'my number 1 recommendation' which is WA. I am not saying its a bad program but just because so many people recommend it doesn't mean its outstanding.
Another fundamental problem I uncovered around this time, which I can only now see retrospectively, was that in so many programs designed to make you money online, there is no real product of value being sold. You are simple selling a system that you can make money from when people buy the system from you and sell it to others. A few people make a lot of money from these types of systems, however if there is no real product of value at its core, its a business model built upon a foundation of sand.
A Proud Moment
Around late 2013 I was moving away from the Asperger niche, and looking to see if I could go into the 'make money online' niche. After all, it's a far more profitable niche than Asperger issues with more keen buyers, and by this time I felt I had a certain amount of knowledge. It was around this time I had my first affiliate sales, albeit very small ones.
I discovered a $4.95 dollar product called Simple Traffic Solutions (STS), basically an e-book which taught you various way to get visitors to your web pages. You could earn 50% commissions from the sales of STS when people purchase through your link, and I managed to make a few sales. There was a forum on the membership I had joined to, and you could post a banner as a signature link on your posts. I copied one of the banners from the STS affiliates site, and made a few small sales. However what was quite an achievement was getting onto the top affiliates leadership board!
I came third and fourth two months in a row, and earned cheques for $75 and $50 respectively! After January 2014, they stopped the affiliates competition, and it was probably because this was an old product that no-one was promoting anymore and getting significant sales from, hence me getting a prize with just a few sales in both months! But a proud moment nonetheless, in amongst all the struggle.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Around October 2013, a year since I began my attempts to make money online, I got rather frustrated by my lack of progress and thought that there must be easier ways to make money faster.
In the end, I joined some program for $5 that would supposedly give me a step-by-step system. Unfortunately, once I had joined, I got to about the second step, which I think to do with setting up a custom made website, and the instructions weren't clear. I had questions, but there didn't seem to be any means to contact anyone to get answers, so I couldn't really go any further.
I also discovered a program called Wealthy Affiliate (WA) which is still popular today. It's basically a membership site which teaches you affiliate marketing. I am not here to make any judgement upon WA, except to say that when I signed up for my free trial, I didn't find it that easy to navigate. I asked in the chat room about some of the other programs I had seen recommended on websites, and the only answer I got is these were 'scams'. What I do understand now, which I didn't at the time, is most of these websites I saw in the search engines were created by WA members, who were following their training to create 'review' sites for various make money online systems, and direct visitors to 'my number 1 recommendation' which is WA. I am not saying its a bad program but just because so many people recommend it doesn't mean its outstanding.
Another fundamental problem I uncovered around this time, which I can only now see retrospectively, was that in so many programs designed to make you money online, there is no real product of value being sold. You are simple selling a system that you can make money from when people buy the system from you and sell it to others. A few people make a lot of money from these types of systems, however if there is no real product of value at its core, its a business model built upon a foundation of sand.
A Proud Moment
Around late 2013 I was moving away from the Asperger niche, and looking to see if I could go into the 'make money online' niche. After all, it's a far more profitable niche than Asperger issues with more keen buyers, and by this time I felt I had a certain amount of knowledge. It was around this time I had my first affiliate sales, albeit very small ones.
I discovered a $4.95 dollar product called Simple Traffic Solutions (STS), basically an e-book which taught you various way to get visitors to your web pages. You could earn 50% commissions from the sales of STS when people purchase through your link, and I managed to make a few sales. There was a forum on the membership I had joined to, and you could post a banner as a signature link on your posts. I copied one of the banners from the STS affiliates site, and made a few small sales. However what was quite an achievement was getting onto the top affiliates leadership board!
I came third and fourth two months in a row, and earned cheques for $75 and $50 respectively! After January 2014, they stopped the affiliates competition, and it was probably because this was an old product that no-one was promoting anymore and getting significant sales from, hence me getting a prize with just a few sales in both months! But a proud moment nonetheless, in amongst all the struggle.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Monday, September 2, 2019
Planned vs Spontaneous Blog Postings
"My intention at this stage is not to post everyday as that doesn't feel realistic, but to try and post at least once a week, and more regularly when I get the time and inspiration to do so, and be consistent over the long-term."
Well I stated that on August 4th, and haven't managed to post anything since the following day! To be fair I've had a couple of bad weeks, weeks when I've been plagued by trivial worries that I could not get out of my system, and developed a bit of a cold at the same time, and yet I did managed to work on my other passion which is music - you can listen to my recordings at https://soundcloud.com/chrismwoodward - (these are instrumental covers mostly of modern chart music with retrofied original arrangements, all entirely my work).
So I thought today I would sit down and try to write a post on how my mind isolates me, following on from my post about specialist interests. During my working day, when I'm in an upbeat mood, I can get a lot of general ideas on things I would like to post about, however transferring one idea into a fully-fledged blog post can take quite a bit of thought and effort. I'm still trying to get the hang of this blogging thing, so I thought to my self "you know what, leave that thought to another day, and do a post on what's on your mind right now"
So the issue on my mind right now is, how do I sustain this blog. Should I plan my posts, or do I post spontaneously? I am leaning more towards the latter, because I feel that how well I write something will depend upon how passionate I am feeling on that issue at the time of writing. If I am feeling passionate (that's not really the right word but I cannot think of a better one right now) about the issue or experience, particularly if I've been in a challenging social situation or had a troubling encounter with someone which I'm spending hours on end over anaylsing, the blog post will come much more easily to me, than if its just something on my schedule to write about.
On the other hand, without any planning, the blog can turn into a mishmash of ideas without any real flow. There's some things I want to share, but won't make a lot of sense to post now, because there are other issues that 'precede' them - my series on making money online being a case in point, and I do intend to continue this story, which I will need to plan. Sometimes I will start writing and realise that my post will be too long, so will need to split it, and write part two another day. Yet I may not feel into writing about that issue the next day.
This post is a spontaneous one. I don't suppose this post will interest people. However I thought that rather than force myself to post what I planned to post the other week, I would simply post about what was on my mind, and try and get back into the swing of blogging. When you're in the business of regular content creation, not all of it will be great, but there should hopefully be some value in all of it.
So as of today, I will expect I will probably try and be a little more spontaneous in my blogging. I hope to continue to plan some things though, and follow through on anything I don't have time to say on the day. We'll see how it goes.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Monday, August 5, 2019
Aspergers and Making Money Online - Part 2
This is part of a series of posts of my experiences online. Click here for part 1
Following my stint of freelance writing online, I periodically came across websites and blogs teaching you how to make money online, especially around late 2011. Unfortunately, much of the information seemed so hard to read and didn't cover the basics properly
In October 2012 however, I was introduced to a membership site which teaches you how to build an online business, via a friend's blog. I was immediately impressed by how clear and easy to understand everything was here, and immediately because a paid-up member. I spent every evening working my way through the videos and I very quickly learnt about the process of building an online business and the tools available to do this.
The basic process is as follows: You first decide on a profitable niche (examples would include weight loss, body building, dating, and of course making money online). You then create an opt-in page, which asks visitors to sign up for a free gift in exchange for their email address. Once they've opted in, you now have their email address, connected to an autoresponder, where they will receive a series of pre-written emails from you, some of which will be promoting products whereby you get to earn a commission when someone purchases from your link. This is called affiliate marketing.
My Asperger Syndrome Online Business
Naturally, considering I have Asperger Syndrome myself, and that I present talks to help others understand it and thus regarded as something of an expert, and that it fits in nicely with my talks, I decided that I should create a product that be of interest to people with Asperger Syndrome who want help socially. So that is what I did. I wrote an e-book entitled The Social Maze (no longer available online), I wrote up one e-book around 20 pages long as my free gift in exchange for an email, then I created a longer version of the e-book that I would sell for $17 (£10) as a one-time-offer. Anyone opted in for their free gift would be redirected to my one-time-offer sales page. I wrote up around 30 follow-up emails that were automatically sent to anyone who signed up, some of which contained links to affiliated products on ClickBank that I thought were vaguely related to my Asperger niche (i.e. social anxiety), given that there was hardly anything on the market directly related to my Asperger syndrome.
I can vividly remember working tirelessly when setting all this up, particularly on new year's day 2013 when my fingers started to ache through all the writing. Frankly I don't know how I found the work ethic and mental stamina to do all this - I think I was basically fighting my way out of my boring office job! My aim was to get my product online by the end of January and make my first commission by the end of February. I achieved the first bit as I remember launching the ebook on the 30th or 31st of the month. However I didn't make any sales until around June that year.
Success?
I definitely learned a great deal of useful information through this membership site, not only about how internet marketing works but also on building websites through wordpress, stuff that to be honest I would be quite rusty on today.
I learned how to set up a google analytics account to monitor traffic to my ebook opt-in page. The main way I got visitors to my page was through an Asperger syndrome web forum, where I was able to include my opt-page web address as part of my forum signature (not all web forums allow this but this one did). I started to make occasional sales of my ebook, plus the odd commission through affiliated products, and I these mostly came via the forum. However, I wasn't making any profit, because my sales weren't enough to cover my costs of my web auto-responder subscription and other related costs.
In hindsight, I should have celebrated my successes more - every successful online entrepreneur will recall their first ever small commissions. However I couldn't see how I could make anything like enough sales to get close to my goal but in many ways I was on the right path, and felt the need to look at other ideas.
The membership site taught me a lot about how to start an online business and in understanding the process and the tools you need to succeed. What the membership site didn't really teach was how to market effectively, to generate sales and build a customer base.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Following my stint of freelance writing online, I periodically came across websites and blogs teaching you how to make money online, especially around late 2011. Unfortunately, much of the information seemed so hard to read and didn't cover the basics properly
In October 2012 however, I was introduced to a membership site which teaches you how to build an online business, via a friend's blog. I was immediately impressed by how clear and easy to understand everything was here, and immediately because a paid-up member. I spent every evening working my way through the videos and I very quickly learnt about the process of building an online business and the tools available to do this.
The basic process is as follows: You first decide on a profitable niche (examples would include weight loss, body building, dating, and of course making money online). You then create an opt-in page, which asks visitors to sign up for a free gift in exchange for their email address. Once they've opted in, you now have their email address, connected to an autoresponder, where they will receive a series of pre-written emails from you, some of which will be promoting products whereby you get to earn a commission when someone purchases from your link. This is called affiliate marketing.
My Asperger Syndrome Online Business
Naturally, considering I have Asperger Syndrome myself, and that I present talks to help others understand it and thus regarded as something of an expert, and that it fits in nicely with my talks, I decided that I should create a product that be of interest to people with Asperger Syndrome who want help socially. So that is what I did. I wrote an e-book entitled The Social Maze (no longer available online), I wrote up one e-book around 20 pages long as my free gift in exchange for an email, then I created a longer version of the e-book that I would sell for $17 (£10) as a one-time-offer. Anyone opted in for their free gift would be redirected to my one-time-offer sales page. I wrote up around 30 follow-up emails that were automatically sent to anyone who signed up, some of which contained links to affiliated products on ClickBank that I thought were vaguely related to my Asperger niche (i.e. social anxiety), given that there was hardly anything on the market directly related to my Asperger syndrome.
I can vividly remember working tirelessly when setting all this up, particularly on new year's day 2013 when my fingers started to ache through all the writing. Frankly I don't know how I found the work ethic and mental stamina to do all this - I think I was basically fighting my way out of my boring office job! My aim was to get my product online by the end of January and make my first commission by the end of February. I achieved the first bit as I remember launching the ebook on the 30th or 31st of the month. However I didn't make any sales until around June that year.
Success?
I definitely learned a great deal of useful information through this membership site, not only about how internet marketing works but also on building websites through wordpress, stuff that to be honest I would be quite rusty on today.
I learned how to set up a google analytics account to monitor traffic to my ebook opt-in page. The main way I got visitors to my page was through an Asperger syndrome web forum, where I was able to include my opt-page web address as part of my forum signature (not all web forums allow this but this one did). I started to make occasional sales of my ebook, plus the odd commission through affiliated products, and I these mostly came via the forum. However, I wasn't making any profit, because my sales weren't enough to cover my costs of my web auto-responder subscription and other related costs.
In hindsight, I should have celebrated my successes more - every successful online entrepreneur will recall their first ever small commissions. However I couldn't see how I could make anything like enough sales to get close to my goal but in many ways I was on the right path, and felt the need to look at other ideas.
The membership site taught me a lot about how to start an online business and in understanding the process and the tools you need to succeed. What the membership site didn't really teach was how to market effectively, to generate sales and build a customer base.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Sunday, August 4, 2019
Inspiration and Motivation For Blogging
For much of the 2018 I felt my life was going downhill somewhat, certainly nowhere near rock bottom, however I felt my social life was drying up somewhat simply due to other people's changes of circumstance. One thing I was lacking in was a way I could present myself to the world. I'm not looking to be famous, however I have always had that need to be known for something, to have my own business or content creation platform. Some identity and something people will admire. I needed to create something new.
I was at one of those catch-all singles nights in December 2018, simply because it was a Saturday evening and there were no other social opportunities available to me that night. It was a somewhat awkward night due to the crowds, limited seating, and lack of really knowing anyone or conversation topics to latch onto. However I one stage while everyone was partying, I simply sat down by a table, got my phone notepad out, and started writing some notes about how I was feeling in the social setting, ideas I could discuss in my talks on Aspergers, or incorporate into articles in a blog. In fact I thought that blogging would actually inspire me to do more things socially and step out of my comfort zone, because whatever happens I could always blog about it, so I felt good!
There's a sense of comfort in looking like the serious guy at a party - it makes me look at feel more important as if I have some job to do. One person later that night commented to me that "you're a bit of an observer," hence being rather quiet. Well the reason why I am quiet is quite simple - I wouldn't know how to act loud and boisterous in that situation when you mentally cannot follow the flow of all the jokes and banter that goes on, and there isn't any other way I can act authentically in that situation.
I can also recall three completely separate incidents in the past couple of months where I have felt shaken, shocked, confused and troubled by a particular interaction with someone (two of them happened on the same day incidentally). All in totally different environments. When these sort of things happen, I become totally preoccupied and will literally be talking to myself for hours on end, at least until I get to talk to someone else who understand the situation. The positive side is that all this questioning and analysis gives me more things I want to write about and I reckon its these recent incidences that have helped kick me into blogging action.
My Plans for This Blog
Like most things, probably the hardest thing about blogging is getting started - actually going onto blogspot and setting something up. As you can see it often takes me months of thinking and procrastination before taking the first steps. My intention at this stage is not to post everyday as that doesn't feel realistic, but to try and post at least once a week, and more regularly when I get the time and inspiration to do so, and be consistent over the long-term.
I have many things to share in the pipeline and there's always more coming along. On my desktop I have a Notepad document, called 'blog posts and traffic' where I note any ideas that come to mind for things to share, plus ideas for generating web traffic to this blog in due course. When I think of an idea I always note it on the list so I don't forget.
However I suspect many of my posts, such as the one you're reading now, won't be planned. I'm also starting to find that when I start writing, I realise I will have to split my post into two or three posts so they don't become too long, which is a good thing.
I also hope in due course to expand upon this blog, start creating some vidoes and perhaps some podcasting, and collaborate with other like-minded people. I don't know exactly what but I do have ideas. I can't promise anything but I very much hope I can put all my generic ideas into action over time. I have witnessed an increasing number of content creators within the autism scene, and I do feel I have many unique insights to share to be apart of this.
Obviously, time will tell.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
I was at one of those catch-all singles nights in December 2018, simply because it was a Saturday evening and there were no other social opportunities available to me that night. It was a somewhat awkward night due to the crowds, limited seating, and lack of really knowing anyone or conversation topics to latch onto. However I one stage while everyone was partying, I simply sat down by a table, got my phone notepad out, and started writing some notes about how I was feeling in the social setting, ideas I could discuss in my talks on Aspergers, or incorporate into articles in a blog. In fact I thought that blogging would actually inspire me to do more things socially and step out of my comfort zone, because whatever happens I could always blog about it, so I felt good!
There's a sense of comfort in looking like the serious guy at a party - it makes me look at feel more important as if I have some job to do. One person later that night commented to me that "you're a bit of an observer," hence being rather quiet. Well the reason why I am quiet is quite simple - I wouldn't know how to act loud and boisterous in that situation when you mentally cannot follow the flow of all the jokes and banter that goes on, and there isn't any other way I can act authentically in that situation.
I can also recall three completely separate incidents in the past couple of months where I have felt shaken, shocked, confused and troubled by a particular interaction with someone (two of them happened on the same day incidentally). All in totally different environments. When these sort of things happen, I become totally preoccupied and will literally be talking to myself for hours on end, at least until I get to talk to someone else who understand the situation. The positive side is that all this questioning and analysis gives me more things I want to write about and I reckon its these recent incidences that have helped kick me into blogging action.
My Plans for This Blog
Like most things, probably the hardest thing about blogging is getting started - actually going onto blogspot and setting something up. As you can see it often takes me months of thinking and procrastination before taking the first steps. My intention at this stage is not to post everyday as that doesn't feel realistic, but to try and post at least once a week, and more regularly when I get the time and inspiration to do so, and be consistent over the long-term.
I have many things to share in the pipeline and there's always more coming along. On my desktop I have a Notepad document, called 'blog posts and traffic' where I note any ideas that come to mind for things to share, plus ideas for generating web traffic to this blog in due course. When I think of an idea I always note it on the list so I don't forget.
However I suspect many of my posts, such as the one you're reading now, won't be planned. I'm also starting to find that when I start writing, I realise I will have to split my post into two or three posts so they don't become too long, which is a good thing.
I also hope in due course to expand upon this blog, start creating some vidoes and perhaps some podcasting, and collaborate with other like-minded people. I don't know exactly what but I do have ideas. I can't promise anything but I very much hope I can put all my generic ideas into action over time. I have witnessed an increasing number of content creators within the autism scene, and I do feel I have many unique insights to share to be apart of this.
Obviously, time will tell.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Wired up for Specialist Interests
My childhood was dominated by having a succession of specialist interests, or as my parent's would call them "obsessions". I'm not a fan of that word though as it has negative connotations. The most prominent one, which came and went in cycles was about cars. In fact my parents have home video footage from 1993 at the Worthing Motor show, of me giving a running commentary of all the cars displayed, reciting their specifications. I remember in July 1995 walking into my local newsagent on my own and buying a copy of What Car magazine, and while all of it was interesting, the bit that really excited me was the whole specification list at the back. I wanted to know which models had electric windows, central locking, maximum speeds etc.
Very often my special interests were driven by some sort of fear. I remember as a toddler hurting my hand trying to open the door of my Grandparents S Reg Renault 5, and I remember being rather afraid of travelling in a Fiat 126 because I was told they were very noisy, and I thought the noise might give me a shock.
Other childhood interests included clocks and watches, and the weather.
Today, I still have a passing interest in my old specialist interests, and will happily pick up a car magazine in the dentists waiting room. However I couldn't even try to recite offhand the car specifications as of 2019! The reason is because I don't have any kind of emotional attachment related to cars that I did when I was younger and other more pressing concerns have taken over.
In fact as a 10 year old I used to imagine I'd want to drive something like a 10 year old Saab 9000 when I grew up. Of course, insurance and finding a parking space weren't really on my mind back then! As things happened, since I eventually passed my driving test at the late age of 31 (having regarded home ownership as a greater priority) I have only ever owned a Ford Ka and a Nissan Micra. It would be nice to try driving a larger vehicle at some point, but it would be totally impractical to own a big car given my flat location and driving habits.
The weather does remain a much more prominent interest for me today. In fact usually the first thing I do after work is make a cup of tea, grab a few cookies, and watch the latest forecast from GavsWeatherVids. I work outdoors, and certain types of weather can have a real impact upon me. My interest is greatest in winter and summer when there's the risk of extreme temperatures. One thing I do to relax is go onto accuweather.com, and browse forecast stats for different parts of the world and see how I'd fare in a different city.
In general if you ask me about the weather forecast, there's a good chance I could give you a detailed answer about the possible scenarios for the next few weeks.
There can be great advantages to having a mind that's wired up for specialist interests. However it can also be socially isolating. But more about this in a future post.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Very often my special interests were driven by some sort of fear. I remember as a toddler hurting my hand trying to open the door of my Grandparents S Reg Renault 5, and I remember being rather afraid of travelling in a Fiat 126 because I was told they were very noisy, and I thought the noise might give me a shock.
Other childhood interests included clocks and watches, and the weather.
Today, I still have a passing interest in my old specialist interests, and will happily pick up a car magazine in the dentists waiting room. However I couldn't even try to recite offhand the car specifications as of 2019! The reason is because I don't have any kind of emotional attachment related to cars that I did when I was younger and other more pressing concerns have taken over.
In fact as a 10 year old I used to imagine I'd want to drive something like a 10 year old Saab 9000 when I grew up. Of course, insurance and finding a parking space weren't really on my mind back then! As things happened, since I eventually passed my driving test at the late age of 31 (having regarded home ownership as a greater priority) I have only ever owned a Ford Ka and a Nissan Micra. It would be nice to try driving a larger vehicle at some point, but it would be totally impractical to own a big car given my flat location and driving habits.
The weather does remain a much more prominent interest for me today. In fact usually the first thing I do after work is make a cup of tea, grab a few cookies, and watch the latest forecast from GavsWeatherVids. I work outdoors, and certain types of weather can have a real impact upon me. My interest is greatest in winter and summer when there's the risk of extreme temperatures. One thing I do to relax is go onto accuweather.com, and browse forecast stats for different parts of the world and see how I'd fare in a different city.
In general if you ask me about the weather forecast, there's a good chance I could give you a detailed answer about the possible scenarios for the next few weeks.
There can be great advantages to having a mind that's wired up for specialist interests. However it can also be socially isolating. But more about this in a future post.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Sunday, July 28, 2019
Aspergers and Making Money Online - Part 1
For most of the past ten years now, I have had a burning passion to somehow make money online. My motivation has never been about getting super rich, driving a Ferrari, or jetting around the world - a small flat and a Nissan Micra are quite sufficient! It was simply because I wanted a way out of my boring, dead-end office job, being able to make ends meet on my own terms, and most importantly, having control of my working environment and not being forced to interact with difficult work colleagues, or anyone for that matter.
Now as of today, I am not really active in any make money online businesses, although I keep my eye on the internet marketing scene. I have grown weary of all the effort and false promises out there, and I'm very happy in my current job for now. I am aware that the world of employment is subject to change, and I do have a backup plan if I lost my job or felt the need to leave for any reason. But that's another story.
May 2010 - The Journey Begins
May 2nd 2009 was the date of my brother's wedding, myself and extended family were staying out in Suffolk for a few days afterwards, and I remember discussing what I could do and the idea of freelance writing came into discussion.
Well around a year later one day I felt compelled to take action. In May 2010 I applied to be a contributing writer for the now defunct Suite101 article directory. I could write articles on any topic of my choice. I submitted two demo articles and quickly got approved as a contributor. This site enabled you to earn money when people clicked on the Google ads on the page where your articles were posted. Initially I was able to earn several cents per day even with just a few articles posted. I could see on the leaderboard the top earners with 1000 or so articles online were earning something like $2000 per month, which would be enough to make ends meet. My aim was to eventually write enough articles to make this sort of money, so I could quit my job.
Unfortunately, after a few months of writing, Google's Panda algorithm updates meant that the articles posted on this site, and other article directories were no longer topping the search engines, and therefore saw a massive reduction in web traffic the ads stopped getting the clicks and the money stopped coming in. Eventually the whole platform changed and it was no longer possible to make money there at all. However I think I made around $10 or so while the site was active.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Now as of today, I am not really active in any make money online businesses, although I keep my eye on the internet marketing scene. I have grown weary of all the effort and false promises out there, and I'm very happy in my current job for now. I am aware that the world of employment is subject to change, and I do have a backup plan if I lost my job or felt the need to leave for any reason. But that's another story.
May 2010 - The Journey Begins
May 2nd 2009 was the date of my brother's wedding, myself and extended family were staying out in Suffolk for a few days afterwards, and I remember discussing what I could do and the idea of freelance writing came into discussion.
Well around a year later one day I felt compelled to take action. In May 2010 I applied to be a contributing writer for the now defunct Suite101 article directory. I could write articles on any topic of my choice. I submitted two demo articles and quickly got approved as a contributor. This site enabled you to earn money when people clicked on the Google ads on the page where your articles were posted. Initially I was able to earn several cents per day even with just a few articles posted. I could see on the leaderboard the top earners with 1000 or so articles online were earning something like $2000 per month, which would be enough to make ends meet. My aim was to eventually write enough articles to make this sort of money, so I could quit my job.
Unfortunately, after a few months of writing, Google's Panda algorithm updates meant that the articles posted on this site, and other article directories were no longer topping the search engines, and therefore saw a massive reduction in web traffic the ads stopped getting the clicks and the money stopped coming in. Eventually the whole platform changed and it was no longer possible to make money there at all. However I think I made around $10 or so while the site was active.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
Saturday, July 27, 2019
Hundreds of Acquaintances But Few Friends
I feel that I have always struggled socially, being Aspergers. Back when I was in my early 20s, I was desperate for more friends. I have always had a good family for moral support, and plenty of people I knew casually through environments such a work. But I had no peers I could 'hang out with' on a regular basis, and more importantly, felt powerless to go and meet new people and my limited social life felt dependent upon who might come in and go out of certain social circles.
At a low point in early 2010, I decided to go Meetup type group in a nearby city in the hope I could build up my social life. These were mostly 'catch all' socials down the pub. I vividly remember the first of these events I went to - it was a bitterly cold Tuesday evening in January, fortunately the pub was right outside the train station. I went along and got chatting to various people - I met a few nice people and had some nice conversations, however most of the conversation was awkward. Many of the people were new to the city, and I didn't even live in the city and wasn't overly familiar with the city's social life. A lot of people were professionals of some sort and the only job I had any experience in was admin assistant in the civil service. So much of the time it felt awkward. However I continued to go to more events because - even when it's tough - whenever there is 'potential' I stick at it!
Fast forward to 2019 and I have been to loads of other singles group events and meetups over the years, on and off, usually on a Saturday night - because this is the time when there is not much else available for me to do socially speaking. These types of events serve a useful purpose, because they allow you the chance to do something purely social with people that you're not going to meet at work or in other club or class.
However, an unfortunate pattern I have got into - and this applies in other social environments outside the meetup type group setup - is that when you start going to these groups, you end up saying 'Hello', shaking hands and introducing yourself to hundreds of different people, but not making many real friends. The abundance feels good when you're starting out with a limited social circle, however it seems that after a while the abundance of potential friends becomes a problem.
As someone with Aspergers, I know that I don't read social clues like others. I cannot explain this exactly - just as someone born partially sighted cannot explain what they can't see because they have never know anything different. So what tends to happen a lot is, on initially meeting someone, everything seems fine, but then at some unidentifiable point, other people will start to bond more, and I can gradually start feeling left out. So I end up in a sort-of-merry go round here. Of course every one of these socials are different, so I'm not saying this happens like this everywhere, and there are a handful of people I have met at these types of event whom I have stayed in touch with. But as a general rule this is how it goes.
I will continue to go to these types of events when I wish to do something social and nothing else is available to me. However now I have recognised the above pattern, I hope I can do something to rectify it. Reduce the quality and increase the quality.
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
About Me - Some Context to This Blog
Hello. I'm a 37 year old man from southern England, diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in December 1995, aged 13. I live independently, on my own in the same flat since I was 21, I have a steady job, I drive, and I certainly don't make an issue of having Asperger's. In fact the majority of people I associate with these days either don't know I have it, or only have a passing knowledge of my condition.
People fall into two categories when I tell people I have Asperger's. Some people will say they would never have guessed such a thing, whereas others will recognise it almost immediately. The latter group tend to be people who work in a caring profession such as teachers, or have other experience with Asperger's.
I have been fortunate that I grew up in a good family, my mother was also a teacher, they were able to look beyond the surface of my behaviors as a young child. I believe that this - combined with my early school playground behavior in the late 80's (before Asperger's was known) of talking to my imaginary people completely aloof from other kids, which in a way forced the teachers to try and figure out what was wrong with me - is the reason why I had such an early diagnosis. I often wonder about those people who are much younger than me, yet didn't get diagnosed until adulthood.
At school I regularly had extra help with support assistants in various classes, but I was considered to be intelligent, and I generally have exceeded people's expectations of me.
My Reason For Starting This Blog
Since my early 20's I have been privileged enough to be invited to give occasional talks regarding my experience with Asperger Syndrome to various different groups. At one stage I tried to start-up a business based upon this, combined with related online marketing.
While I am in no doubt that my talks are good, and I consistently receive positive feedback from them, I don't feel I have been much good at 'selling' my speaking services. In fact I've tried to sell a number of different things over the years and never had much success. Plus being in full-time employment, I currently don't have the time or flexibility at this stage to make promoting my speaking services worthwhile.
In general, I feel at the age of 37, that I have spent many years trying to achieve different things, and somehow, about a couple of years ago, I reached a point where my drive and determination turned into a general feeling of weariness. There are some things in life which ten years ago I would get my all egged up and excited, which now I cannot seem to muster that excitement.
Strangely, despite the fact I have progressed in so many ways during my adult life, I have for the past year or so felt even more Asperger's than I used to. I suspect this is because I have been become more aware of my social shortcomings and traits, rather than because I have retreated in some way. But this additional awareness has often made me realise how hard it is to succeed at certain things that I used to think would be relatively easy.
All this has combined with other factors has made me feel not so much depressed, but rather stuck in a bit of a rut, of going to work, feeling tired after work, watching a bit of TV or youtube, doing some social things, but without many opportunities to be real with people and express myself, apart from close family.
At the same time as this, I have witnessed a growing number of autistic speakers and online content creators, some who I feel have succeeded in ways in which I have not succeeded, things that I thought you were supposed to struggle with if you had Asperger's. What do these people have that I haven't? Yet, since feeling "more Asperger's" in recent times, I feel I have so many more insights to share than I ever have before.
So I have decided to start this blog, to help get myself out of this rut of going to work then feeling tired, and ease my way into generating more consistent content creation. I very much hope this isn't all about me, and that the things I share in future posts will be interesting and informative. I always welcome any comments, feedback, and correspondence. So lets see how we go!
So I have
People fall into two categories when I tell people I have Asperger's. Some people will say they would never have guessed such a thing, whereas others will recognise it almost immediately. The latter group tend to be people who work in a caring profession such as teachers, or have other experience with Asperger's.
I have been fortunate that I grew up in a good family, my mother was also a teacher, they were able to look beyond the surface of my behaviors as a young child. I believe that this - combined with my early school playground behavior in the late 80's (before Asperger's was known) of talking to my imaginary people completely aloof from other kids, which in a way forced the teachers to try and figure out what was wrong with me - is the reason why I had such an early diagnosis. I often wonder about those people who are much younger than me, yet didn't get diagnosed until adulthood.
At school I regularly had extra help with support assistants in various classes, but I was considered to be intelligent, and I generally have exceeded people's expectations of me.
My Reason For Starting This Blog
Since my early 20's I have been privileged enough to be invited to give occasional talks regarding my experience with Asperger Syndrome to various different groups. At one stage I tried to start-up a business based upon this, combined with related online marketing.
While I am in no doubt that my talks are good, and I consistently receive positive feedback from them, I don't feel I have been much good at 'selling' my speaking services. In fact I've tried to sell a number of different things over the years and never had much success. Plus being in full-time employment, I currently don't have the time or flexibility at this stage to make promoting my speaking services worthwhile.
In general, I feel at the age of 37, that I have spent many years trying to achieve different things, and somehow, about a couple of years ago, I reached a point where my drive and determination turned into a general feeling of weariness. There are some things in life which ten years ago I would get my all egged up and excited, which now I cannot seem to muster that excitement.
Strangely, despite the fact I have progressed in so many ways during my adult life, I have for the past year or so felt even more Asperger's than I used to. I suspect this is because I have been become more aware of my social shortcomings and traits, rather than because I have retreated in some way. But this additional awareness has often made me realise how hard it is to succeed at certain things that I used to think would be relatively easy.
All this has combined with other factors has made me feel not so much depressed, but rather stuck in a bit of a rut, of going to work, feeling tired after work, watching a bit of TV or youtube, doing some social things, but without many opportunities to be real with people and express myself, apart from close family.
At the same time as this, I have witnessed a growing number of autistic speakers and online content creators, some who I feel have succeeded in ways in which I have not succeeded, things that I thought you were supposed to struggle with if you had Asperger's. What do these people have that I haven't? Yet, since feeling "more Asperger's" in recent times, I feel I have so many more insights to share than I ever have before.
So I have decided to start this blog, to help get myself out of this rut of going to work then feeling tired, and ease my way into generating more consistent content creation. I very much hope this isn't all about me, and that the things I share in future posts will be interesting and informative. I always welcome any comments, feedback, and correspondence. So lets see how we go!
So I have
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)