Hello. I'm a 37 year old man from southern England, diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in December 1995, aged 13. I live independently, on my own in the same flat since I was 21, I have a steady job, I drive, and I certainly don't make an issue of having Asperger's. In fact the majority of people I associate with these days either don't know I have it, or only have a passing knowledge of my condition.
People fall into two categories when I tell people I have Asperger's. Some people will say they would never have guessed such a thing, whereas others will recognise it almost immediately. The latter group tend to be people who work in a caring profession such as teachers, or have other experience with Asperger's.
I have been fortunate that I grew up in a good family, my mother was also a teacher, they were able to look beyond the surface of my behaviors as a young child. I believe that this - combined with my early school playground behavior in the late 80's (before Asperger's was known) of talking to my imaginary people completely aloof from other kids, which in a way forced the teachers to try and figure out what was wrong with me - is the reason why I had such an early diagnosis. I often wonder about those people who are much younger than me, yet didn't get diagnosed until adulthood.
At school I regularly had extra help with support assistants in various classes, but I was considered to be intelligent, and I generally have exceeded people's expectations of me.
My Reason For Starting This Blog
Since my early 20's I have been privileged enough to be invited to give occasional talks regarding my experience with Asperger Syndrome to various different groups. At one stage I tried to start-up a business based upon this, combined with related online marketing.
While I am in no doubt that my talks are good, and I consistently receive positive feedback from them, I don't feel I have been much good at 'selling' my speaking services. In fact I've tried to sell a number of different things over the years and never had much success. Plus being in full-time employment, I currently don't have the time or flexibility at this stage to make promoting my speaking services worthwhile.
In general, I feel at the age of 37, that I have spent many years trying to achieve different things, and somehow, about a couple of years ago, I reached a point where my drive and determination turned into a general feeling of weariness. There are some things in life which ten years ago I would get my all egged up and excited, which now I cannot seem to muster that excitement.
Strangely, despite the fact I have progressed in so many ways during my adult life, I have for the past year or so felt even more Asperger's than I used to. I suspect this is because I have been become more aware of my social shortcomings and traits, rather than because I have retreated in some way. But this additional awareness has often made me realise how hard it is to succeed at certain things that I used to think would be relatively easy.
All this has combined with other factors has made me feel not so much depressed, but rather stuck in a bit of a rut, of going to work, feeling tired after work, watching a bit of TV or youtube, doing some social things, but without many opportunities to be real with people and express myself, apart from close family.
At the same time as this, I have witnessed a growing number of autistic speakers and online content creators, some who I feel have succeeded in ways in which I have not succeeded, things that I thought you were supposed to struggle with if you had Asperger's. What do these people have that I haven't? Yet, since feeling "more Asperger's" in recent times, I feel I have so many more insights to share than I ever have before.
So I have decided to start this blog, to help get myself out of this rut of going to work then feeling tired, and ease my way into generating more consistent content creation. I very much hope this isn't all about me, and that the things I share in future posts will be interesting and informative. I always welcome any comments, feedback, and correspondence. So lets see how we go!
So I have
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