Over the course of my adult life, two of my greatest past times has been talking to myself and brainstorming. There is a large park just round the corner from my flat, where I may regularly go for a wander around for around half an hour, mostly during spring and summer evenings. I have always found it much easier to think clearly and creatively when I have time to myself and space to wander around. In my flat I have far too much of the former, however space to move about is limited except for walking round in small circles.
So there have been many times when I have been unhappy with something in my life, or wanted to accomplish something, whereby I have spent a fair few hours of both wandering around the park and putting pen to paper inside the flat and drawing up a brainstorm.
In the first few years living alone, much of this was geared towards making friends and building a social life. Brainstorming applied both to short-term and long-term objectives. For instance, if I was likely to be somewhere where a girl I fancied was present, I would try and brainstorm conversation topics, and try and picture the various scenarios that would give me a window of opportunity to speak to her.
Around 2010, when I started going to meet-up style events, I would look at what other sorts of people were going and try and brainstorm conversation topics. Without going to any detail here, I would even try and brainstorm potentially fun and flirtatious (in my eyes) ways I could interact with a woman.
Then around 2015, in my efforts to succeed in online marketing, I would brainstorm online marketing ideas and strategies, aims and goals. I remember one or two occasions in August 2015 really scrambling around trying to make sense of things and them in logical order while wandering round the park on a few quiet cool mornings (I was unemployed briefly at that time).
I will admit now that much of my wandering around brainstorming work was not the most effective goal-setting techniques, and much of it especially in the early days, was me clutching at straws.
However, after many years of all this thinking, I came to a realisation - that when I decide I want to go for a wander down the park, it's not so much to create a serious action plan as it is simply for the need to talk to myself in a more open space, and stretch my legs. I certainly wouldn't say my brainstorming efforts have been futile, however, I have more recently come to realise that I can easily thrive on the excitement of an idea, but really struggle with getting down to the nitty-gritty and putting those early steps into action.
Planning Actions ideas is easy, taking the real action is hard work, especially getting started. I think it is good that I have recognised this.
In more recent times, it has typically the weekends, when I have a fair bit of spare time, and sometime feel my life is in a rut, that I feel inspired to take some sort of action. My mind can be all over the place while I'm working but often after work I get tired and never get round to much.
I guess one of the most helpful things is actually recognising the above - that I often enjoy thinking about the idea more than the actual accomplishment. Knowing that this is how your brain works, actually helps you to say to yourself "right time to take the first steps...no point wandering round the park brainstorming if you never get on with it."
Monday, September 23, 2019
Monday, September 16, 2019
Do I Have a GSOH?
Back in my teens when I would regularly browse through the dating personal ads in our local free paper, I would regularly notice this 'GSOH' abbreviation and couldn't work out what it meant. Somehow I later realised it stood for 'Good Sense of Humour'.
Humour has often been a problem for me. I vaguely remember being around the ages of 5 or 6, other kids in the playground sharing jokes with each other and with their parents, waiting for the first school bell to ring, and I had no interest or understanding. A few years later I would enjoy various TV game shows, such as Big Break or You Bet, and never quite understood why the presenter had to use the first five minutes to make jokes, rather than simply get down to business right away. As a teenager, I continued to find jokes an irritating nuisance and a waste of time, especially if it was a wind-up aimed at me. My attitude was 'don't joke with me!' No doubt I would appear very standoffish, though not only was I completely ignorant of how this came over, I also couldn't care less at the time.
However, considering that the vast majority of the time I couldn't make any sense of the jokes, and it sounded all Greek to me, going right over my head, can anyone really be surprised by my attitude? If the things that are supposed to be funny don't make sense to you, how else can you possibly view them other than a total pointless waste of time?
With all that said, I have and always have had a sense of humour, and found certain things to be funny. I always liked Mr Bean for instance, my favourite espisode being Room 426, because it shows him acting in a public hotel, and I get to see exactly how the public reacts to his odd behavior and the bizarre events taking place. The bits where he's just on his own aren't so interesting for me.
My sense of humour I feel has always been more situational based - I like the ridiculous, if you want to summarise it. i.e. such as 22 year olds marrying 100 years old, convicted terrorists being 'let off the hook' and allowed to walk fee. Family members will know what I'm referring to here.
Its Not About Whether You Have a GSOH - It's About Expressing it
The great irony in British society, is that although jokes are meant for a laugh, the issue of having a sense of humour is something taken very seriously. Probably over 90% of dating profiles, or answers to questions regarding what you're looking for, include something along the lines of 'good sense of humour' - without any clear definition of what a GSOH actually is.
I remember on one of my past Plenty of Fish dating profiles (for the record I'm not using this dating site at present), I said that I had a 'good sense of humour' - because in my own mind I have and standard neurotypical humour is boring. As usual I wasn't getting many replies to messages, and when I asked about this in the forum, another member suggested that I offered no evidence to show that I had a GSOH, and that I should demonstate some humour in my profile. This made me think, that when people say they like someone with a good sense of humour, either in a friendship or dating context, what I think they are really saying is 'I like someone who can express humour within a social context.'
The problem I feel I have often had, is that my particular type of humour does not organically slip into general conversation - it rather has to be explained and requires a specific platform and a willing listenership to explain it. That's not to say that I never say anything humorous in a social context, or that there are no instances where I find something funny in a social context, far from it. I do have a number of good friends of whom I seem to be able to make them laugh just by being myself (in a good way). I also find that I can engage with humour to a degree when giving a talk far more easily than in conversation, probably because I have time to think and plan what I say in a talk.
Another thing that strikes me, is how so many people, often seemingly less intelligent than myself, are capable of understanding jokes almost instantaneously in a social setting. Jokes are often based upon words with more than one meaning or similar meanings, and understanding them requires you to connect quite a few dots (plus often the assumption regarding certain general knowledge) all in a flash! Once in a while I will just happen to get it, but how so many people are able to consistently get these jokes and respond with a good comeback all within a few seconds is beyond me!
Misunderstood
This may purely be my own perception, but all too often I feel I can be misunderstood for being 'quiet' or 'shy' or as someone who has no sense of humour at all, simple because my brain cannot process the jokes and banter fast enough, and that my true sense of humour doesn't organically slip into everyday conversation, but rather requires a platform to explain it, and possibly also, for me to have previously built up the type friendship with such a person who may be listening for that person to appreciate it. Very often humour is dependent upon the context of the person sharing the joke or funny story.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Humour has often been a problem for me. I vaguely remember being around the ages of 5 or 6, other kids in the playground sharing jokes with each other and with their parents, waiting for the first school bell to ring, and I had no interest or understanding. A few years later I would enjoy various TV game shows, such as Big Break or You Bet, and never quite understood why the presenter had to use the first five minutes to make jokes, rather than simply get down to business right away. As a teenager, I continued to find jokes an irritating nuisance and a waste of time, especially if it was a wind-up aimed at me. My attitude was 'don't joke with me!' No doubt I would appear very standoffish, though not only was I completely ignorant of how this came over, I also couldn't care less at the time.
However, considering that the vast majority of the time I couldn't make any sense of the jokes, and it sounded all Greek to me, going right over my head, can anyone really be surprised by my attitude? If the things that are supposed to be funny don't make sense to you, how else can you possibly view them other than a total pointless waste of time?
With all that said, I have and always have had a sense of humour, and found certain things to be funny. I always liked Mr Bean for instance, my favourite espisode being Room 426, because it shows him acting in a public hotel, and I get to see exactly how the public reacts to his odd behavior and the bizarre events taking place. The bits where he's just on his own aren't so interesting for me.
My sense of humour I feel has always been more situational based - I like the ridiculous, if you want to summarise it. i.e. such as 22 year olds marrying 100 years old, convicted terrorists being 'let off the hook' and allowed to walk fee. Family members will know what I'm referring to here.
Its Not About Whether You Have a GSOH - It's About Expressing it
The great irony in British society, is that although jokes are meant for a laugh, the issue of having a sense of humour is something taken very seriously. Probably over 90% of dating profiles, or answers to questions regarding what you're looking for, include something along the lines of 'good sense of humour' - without any clear definition of what a GSOH actually is.
I remember on one of my past Plenty of Fish dating profiles (for the record I'm not using this dating site at present), I said that I had a 'good sense of humour' - because in my own mind I have and standard neurotypical humour is boring. As usual I wasn't getting many replies to messages, and when I asked about this in the forum, another member suggested that I offered no evidence to show that I had a GSOH, and that I should demonstate some humour in my profile. This made me think, that when people say they like someone with a good sense of humour, either in a friendship or dating context, what I think they are really saying is 'I like someone who can express humour within a social context.'
The problem I feel I have often had, is that my particular type of humour does not organically slip into general conversation - it rather has to be explained and requires a specific platform and a willing listenership to explain it. That's not to say that I never say anything humorous in a social context, or that there are no instances where I find something funny in a social context, far from it. I do have a number of good friends of whom I seem to be able to make them laugh just by being myself (in a good way). I also find that I can engage with humour to a degree when giving a talk far more easily than in conversation, probably because I have time to think and plan what I say in a talk.
Another thing that strikes me, is how so many people, often seemingly less intelligent than myself, are capable of understanding jokes almost instantaneously in a social setting. Jokes are often based upon words with more than one meaning or similar meanings, and understanding them requires you to connect quite a few dots (plus often the assumption regarding certain general knowledge) all in a flash! Once in a while I will just happen to get it, but how so many people are able to consistently get these jokes and respond with a good comeback all within a few seconds is beyond me!
Misunderstood
This may purely be my own perception, but all too often I feel I can be misunderstood for being 'quiet' or 'shy' or as someone who has no sense of humour at all, simple because my brain cannot process the jokes and banter fast enough, and that my true sense of humour doesn't organically slip into everyday conversation, but rather requires a platform to explain it, and possibly also, for me to have previously built up the type friendship with such a person who may be listening for that person to appreciate it. Very often humour is dependent upon the context of the person sharing the joke or funny story.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
Aspergers and Making Money Online - Part 3
This is part of a series of posts of my experiences online. Click here for part 1 and part 2
Around October 2013, a year since I began my attempts to make money online, I got rather frustrated by my lack of progress and thought that there must be easier ways to make money faster.
I spent a whole week off work doing google searches on things like 'best way to make money online' etc, to try and find the best program or system. You find get an awful lot of online 'noise' when you do this - there is a complete lack of objective information but a load of individuals who know a bit about ranking their sites on google, trying to say whatever they're involved with is the best business for making money online, and calling everything else a 'scam'. The only way I felt I could try to determine the truth of the matter is by looking at what the majority say.
In the end, I joined some program for $5 that would supposedly give me a step-by-step system. Unfortunately, once I had joined, I got to about the second step, which I think to do with setting up a custom made website, and the instructions weren't clear. I had questions, but there didn't seem to be any means to contact anyone to get answers, so I couldn't really go any further.
I also discovered a program called Wealthy Affiliate (WA) which is still popular today. It's basically a membership site which teaches you affiliate marketing. I am not here to make any judgement upon WA, except to say that when I signed up for my free trial, I didn't find it that easy to navigate. I asked in the chat room about some of the other programs I had seen recommended on websites, and the only answer I got is these were 'scams'. What I do understand now, which I didn't at the time, is most of these websites I saw in the search engines were created by WA members, who were following their training to create 'review' sites for various make money online systems, and direct visitors to 'my number 1 recommendation' which is WA. I am not saying its a bad program but just because so many people recommend it doesn't mean its outstanding.
Another fundamental problem I uncovered around this time, which I can only now see retrospectively, was that in so many programs designed to make you money online, there is no real product of value being sold. You are simple selling a system that you can make money from when people buy the system from you and sell it to others. A few people make a lot of money from these types of systems, however if there is no real product of value at its core, its a business model built upon a foundation of sand.
A Proud Moment
Around late 2013 I was moving away from the Asperger niche, and looking to see if I could go into the 'make money online' niche. After all, it's a far more profitable niche than Asperger issues with more keen buyers, and by this time I felt I had a certain amount of knowledge. It was around this time I had my first affiliate sales, albeit very small ones.
I discovered a $4.95 dollar product called Simple Traffic Solutions (STS), basically an e-book which taught you various way to get visitors to your web pages. You could earn 50% commissions from the sales of STS when people purchase through your link, and I managed to make a few sales. There was a forum on the membership I had joined to, and you could post a banner as a signature link on your posts. I copied one of the banners from the STS affiliates site, and made a few small sales. However what was quite an achievement was getting onto the top affiliates leadership board!
I came third and fourth two months in a row, and earned cheques for $75 and $50 respectively! After January 2014, they stopped the affiliates competition, and it was probably because this was an old product that no-one was promoting anymore and getting significant sales from, hence me getting a prize with just a few sales in both months! But a proud moment nonetheless, in amongst all the struggle.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Around October 2013, a year since I began my attempts to make money online, I got rather frustrated by my lack of progress and thought that there must be easier ways to make money faster.
In the end, I joined some program for $5 that would supposedly give me a step-by-step system. Unfortunately, once I had joined, I got to about the second step, which I think to do with setting up a custom made website, and the instructions weren't clear. I had questions, but there didn't seem to be any means to contact anyone to get answers, so I couldn't really go any further.
I also discovered a program called Wealthy Affiliate (WA) which is still popular today. It's basically a membership site which teaches you affiliate marketing. I am not here to make any judgement upon WA, except to say that when I signed up for my free trial, I didn't find it that easy to navigate. I asked in the chat room about some of the other programs I had seen recommended on websites, and the only answer I got is these were 'scams'. What I do understand now, which I didn't at the time, is most of these websites I saw in the search engines were created by WA members, who were following their training to create 'review' sites for various make money online systems, and direct visitors to 'my number 1 recommendation' which is WA. I am not saying its a bad program but just because so many people recommend it doesn't mean its outstanding.
Another fundamental problem I uncovered around this time, which I can only now see retrospectively, was that in so many programs designed to make you money online, there is no real product of value being sold. You are simple selling a system that you can make money from when people buy the system from you and sell it to others. A few people make a lot of money from these types of systems, however if there is no real product of value at its core, its a business model built upon a foundation of sand.
A Proud Moment
Around late 2013 I was moving away from the Asperger niche, and looking to see if I could go into the 'make money online' niche. After all, it's a far more profitable niche than Asperger issues with more keen buyers, and by this time I felt I had a certain amount of knowledge. It was around this time I had my first affiliate sales, albeit very small ones.
I discovered a $4.95 dollar product called Simple Traffic Solutions (STS), basically an e-book which taught you various way to get visitors to your web pages. You could earn 50% commissions from the sales of STS when people purchase through your link, and I managed to make a few sales. There was a forum on the membership I had joined to, and you could post a banner as a signature link on your posts. I copied one of the banners from the STS affiliates site, and made a few small sales. However what was quite an achievement was getting onto the top affiliates leadership board!
I came third and fourth two months in a row, and earned cheques for $75 and $50 respectively! After January 2014, they stopped the affiliates competition, and it was probably because this was an old product that no-one was promoting anymore and getting significant sales from, hence me getting a prize with just a few sales in both months! But a proud moment nonetheless, in amongst all the struggle.
Want some context to this blog? - click here to find out about me
Monday, September 2, 2019
Planned vs Spontaneous Blog Postings
"My intention at this stage is not to post everyday as that doesn't feel realistic, but to try and post at least once a week, and more regularly when I get the time and inspiration to do so, and be consistent over the long-term."
Well I stated that on August 4th, and haven't managed to post anything since the following day! To be fair I've had a couple of bad weeks, weeks when I've been plagued by trivial worries that I could not get out of my system, and developed a bit of a cold at the same time, and yet I did managed to work on my other passion which is music - you can listen to my recordings at https://soundcloud.com/chrismwoodward - (these are instrumental covers mostly of modern chart music with retrofied original arrangements, all entirely my work).
So I thought today I would sit down and try to write a post on how my mind isolates me, following on from my post about specialist interests. During my working day, when I'm in an upbeat mood, I can get a lot of general ideas on things I would like to post about, however transferring one idea into a fully-fledged blog post can take quite a bit of thought and effort. I'm still trying to get the hang of this blogging thing, so I thought to my self "you know what, leave that thought to another day, and do a post on what's on your mind right now"
So the issue on my mind right now is, how do I sustain this blog. Should I plan my posts, or do I post spontaneously? I am leaning more towards the latter, because I feel that how well I write something will depend upon how passionate I am feeling on that issue at the time of writing. If I am feeling passionate (that's not really the right word but I cannot think of a better one right now) about the issue or experience, particularly if I've been in a challenging social situation or had a troubling encounter with someone which I'm spending hours on end over anaylsing, the blog post will come much more easily to me, than if its just something on my schedule to write about.
On the other hand, without any planning, the blog can turn into a mishmash of ideas without any real flow. There's some things I want to share, but won't make a lot of sense to post now, because there are other issues that 'precede' them - my series on making money online being a case in point, and I do intend to continue this story, which I will need to plan. Sometimes I will start writing and realise that my post will be too long, so will need to split it, and write part two another day. Yet I may not feel into writing about that issue the next day.
This post is a spontaneous one. I don't suppose this post will interest people. However I thought that rather than force myself to post what I planned to post the other week, I would simply post about what was on my mind, and try and get back into the swing of blogging. When you're in the business of regular content creation, not all of it will be great, but there should hopefully be some value in all of it.
So as of today, I will expect I will probably try and be a little more spontaneous in my blogging. I hope to continue to plan some things though, and follow through on anything I don't have time to say on the day. We'll see how it goes.
Want some context to this blog - click here to find out about me
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